Farewell My Friends!

Dear Friends:

June 1, 2012 has come and gone. 

Be that as it may...

I want to thank you all for joining me on my journey that was, "To My Friends: With Love...Sincerely, Prince Toddy English." 

It was important for me to express myself and it was of equal importance to know that you all were listening.

This blog saved me in so many ways.

It saved my sanity and it gave me the motivation to keep on pressing on, in spite of how hard it had gotten.

Be that as it may, now that I'm closing this wonderful vehicle of self expression out, I would like to leave you all with a few of my favorite things...

Be that as it may...

1.) My favorite most popular posts - These are the postings that garnered me the most internet traffic...

Barca Loves Pietros - I guess because the show was so popular and featured two gay characters of color it was bound to key into a gay niche'. I've gotten so many kudos on this one and, truth be told, I wrote it sheerly out of my own lust and adoration for Barca (my how I wished I was Pietros!)! Ha!

http://sirtoddyenglish.blogspot.com/2011/04/gladiator-gays-spartacus-blood-and-sand.html

2.) Proper Anal Hygiene - I just felt this was a MUST for the gay community. The number of chocolate Mona Lisas being PAINTED these days is unacceptable.

http://sirtoddyenglish.blogspot.com/2011/02/bottoming-101-hygiene-tips-for.html

3.)The Glass Closet - I admit that I had a whole lot of fun writing this one. I am really glad that the readers enjoyed it as well.

http://sirtoddyenglish.blogspot.com/2011/04/glass-closet-obviously-gay-celebrities.html

My Favorite Blogs!

I love blogging because it is a symbiotic relationship. Blogging is a community. Each member of the community shares his or her thoughts and borrows from others and vice versa. Blogging is always spontaneous and dynamic and every individual who takes it on brings something different to the table. With that said my favorite blogs, that have always inspired and entertained me, are...

1.) Maybe It's Just Me - Viktor aka Wonder Man is probably the only person I know that is as geeky and gay as me. I love 'Maybe it is just me' because it is like my very own news channel with a geeky gay twist. That and he's a fan of Wonder Woman too!

2.) K Clark's Corner - I love this one too. Mr. Clark is a really good writer and keeps me abreast of everything going on in gay news and the music world.

3.) KA-OS Theory - This blog is by one of my favorite bloggers Zee Jai (who hails from The UK) and he works so hard to put together a comprehensive news compendium, with a gay bias, every single week. As you all can tell a bitch loves to be informed!

4.) Two Cents Worth Down Under - I love this blog, by Damien, because it is so REAL. Whatever Damien is feeling he expresses it to the reader. Of all the bloggers I've ever read I feel like I know him most and that's because he's brutally honest.

5.) Bama Boi Blues - I love this one because, like the former blog, Bama just comes from the gut and writes whatever is on his mind and in his heart. He does not post often but I am always glad whenever he does.

6.) I'll Keep You Posted - Corey Jarell is actually the man who got me started blogging. He told me I had a flair and that I should write one. So I did! Be that as it may I love the whole vintage/retro feel of I'll keep you posted. Corey is historical popular culture buff and I've learned so much about great celebrities of the past from his blog. 

7.) The Gaytekeeper - For sexy MEN (and I do mean SEXY) and philosophical thought check out Gaytekeeper's blog. I've learned a lot from him and think he's a fabulous person.

Blogger That I Miss...

Taylor Siluwe - When I found out that Mr. Siluwe passed away I was shocked and devastated. When I started blogging Taylor was one of the first people to ever reach out and give me support. And, two years ago, when all of that hullabaloo happened with what's his name Taylor talked me down. I will fondly remember our conversations via e-mail and instant messenger (which there were only a few). Taylor was a wonderful man and I admired his strength and humor through it all, even as he stared directly into the face of his impending demise.

Mr. Siluwe you were wonderful and I will never forget you.

Bloggers I wished I'd never met....

Okay, I can't leave without throwing some reads. For every four great people I've encountered in the blogsphere there has been one asshole, without fail. At this moment three come to mind...

I refuse to name them because they will not garner ANY press from my blog, ever...

1.) Recently, I had a fall out with this fool. Because I am friends with someone he no longer liked he blocked me from his Facebook page and banned me from another page that I used to frequent.

Why? Well, in addition to liking someone that he disliked I discovered that he is a plagiarist (someone who steals other people's ideas and takes them as his own).

To be honest he did me a favor. I was sick and tired of his annoyingly militant feminism (if you don't agree with him you are a woman beating/rapist misogynist. I wonder if he talks about Patriarchal Misogyny as much as he types the phrase?) ; his whining about how HORRIBLE it is to be black (well dark skinned and black) in America; and how much he despises light skinned black people.

No originality whatsoever...

Unless Toni Morrison or Bell Hooks wrote it he's basically a mute.

Newsflash: Just because you're gay does not mean you have a vagina. Formulate your OWN theory instead of co-opting the feminist movement (this goes for every obnoxious radically feminist gay man in the world). 

2.) Two years ago I was star struck over this fool. Now, I see him for the degenerate that he was and probably still is. Honestly, I was starry eyed, kind of naive, and young (er). The fantasy he sold me was not even 5 percent of the reality. 

He was a liar and a fraud and I fell for the okie doke. But it was good that I fell for it because now I can see it coming from a light year away.

I will say this in his favor...

That fool got me to visit San Francisco and I'm so glad I did. Yeah, he was totally lame in bed but I'll always have some love in my heart for him for that.

That and he totally inspired one of my most EPIC READS!

3.) This one is not even worth an explanation. Simply because I was caught up over number two this whiny sad sack, that I always supported, stopped talking to me. Good. 

One thing I've learned is that everyone online plays a role to some degree. 

I know better now.

Again, I just want to thank you all for giving me love and support. 

Granted, while this blog is coming to an end I will STILL be in the blog world. As I've said before I am creating my own writer's blog that will feature my musings and creative works. I am serious about my story telling now and really want to use this medium to that end. I will give you all a heads up when it is completed...

With that said farewell my friends!

With love...

Sincerely,

Prince Toddy English. 

All Growed Up: I'm Moving out!

Dear Friends:

My world just got that much bigger. 

As of May 23, 2012 yours truly became a first time, fully fledged, bonafide apartment renter! 

Granted, my electricity does not come on until this Wednesday but nevertheless I did it. 

I finally have my own place!

As I prepare to close out my little blog here I'm realizing its purpose more and more. This current phase of my life is the perfect close for my wonderfully imperfect little blog.

My transition to the next stage of my life

began over a week ago...

And I indirectly thank my mother for being the impetus and motivation. 

As you all know my mother has Alzheimer's disease. 

The ailment is insidious. It robs an individual of the very essence of who they are (were)...their memories. As the days go by my mother is getting worse and worse, so much so that living with her became a nightmarish ordeal.

Last week--seemingly out of the blue--she started getting crazier (for lack of a better term). Every single day I woke and every single night I lie down she was after me, violently after me. Whether she was using four letter words that I never knew were in her vocabulary or vain attempts to hit me with anything from: curtain rods, vases, tables, and anything that was handy (It got to the point I had to wrestle her to the floor once) the situation got bad. My mother was threatening to kill me in my sleep and calling the police on me...And five minutes later forgetting that anything had ever happened. Sometimes she got to be so violent and abusive that she would keep me up in the night on work days.

The straw that broke the camel's back was when she called the cops on me and I had to explain that my mother is an Alzheimer's patient.

That day I told my oldest brother and relatives about the situation and I packed up my stuff and left. 

Last Sunday was the end of the proverbial road for us.

For most of the past week I've been staying in a cute little motel room. It was the best thing, in seven years, that I've ever done for myself. For once I had solace and solitude. In that little room I watched no TV and played no music. I just felt like embracing the silence. The silence wasn't golden...It was multi-platinum. 

When I went to the room on Saturday I vowed to find myself a place by Weds. 

I did it by Tuesday.

I found a BEAUTIFUL apartment complex that had been newly renovated and within my price range. I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that it was meant for me. Without going into too much detail the universe had bequeathed that apartment to me as a gift.

So, I filled out the application and made the deposit and I'll be official this Saturday (an incentive the complex gives is a free flatscreen television).

As for my mother she is now the responsibility of my oldest brother. I issued an ultimatum. Either he watches out for her (like he never has) or I put her into a nursing home.

I realize that, at my age, I deserve my freedom and can no longer be burdened by the insanity of an Alzheimer's patient...even if that patient is my mother.

Thankfully, my Mother is on board with going into a home. Now that she knows that our life together (in the same house that is) is over the harsh reality has set in that she can't take care of herself anymore.

Overall, it was bitter sweet happenstance...but it is more sweet than bitter.

This series of unfortunate events gave me the motivation to just get out there and do it. 

I finally have my complete and total freedom.

I can finally walk through my door and have no one else there but me and my thoughts.

I can finally just chill on a sunny day and have the music of Curtis Mayfield marinating the air. 

I finally get to just do me.

Most importantly I finally get to feel safe...A feeling I haven't felt in quite sometime.

I finally get to TRULY go home. 

Yeah, it is horrible what is happening to my mother. But I've cried so many tears that I'm now numb to the pain of Alzheimer's. 

The reason I stayed so long was for her. Back then I thought that maybe if I loved her enough, and took enough care of her, the Alzheimer's would go away. Moreover, to some extent, I blamed myself for her ultimate break with reality. "Maybe had I not come out she would not have wound up like this?" I often thought. 

Well, I don't feel that way anymore.

This was just something that happened. 

My mother died along time ago...The rest of this is just a formality, one that I am not going to contend with by myself any longer.

Thankfully, there are caring professionals that will stand in the gap.

Now, I have to take care of me. And I am doing a good job so far.

With Love...

Sincerely,

Prince Toddy English.

The Day That Disco OFFICIALLY Died: Rest In Peace Donna Summer!

Dear Friends:

Chile, May 17, 2012 will be known as the day that disco OFFICIALLY died, y'hear me?

I was browsing the internet today at work and almost fell out when I heard that Donna Summers had died!

Anyway, I was only a casual Donna Summers fan but I know some Donna Diehards.

The music world has lost a treasure today!

Donna was the hot shit back in the 1970's and early 80's. Now she's legendary!

Rest in peace disco queen!

Prince Toddy English.

Show's Over Synergy: To My Friends With Love will conclude on June 1, 2012

“It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.” Anonymous quotation.

Dear Friends:

I know I've made this announcement twice before; however, this time--the third time--will most definitely be the charm.

Friends...

Yours truly has decided to bring this delightful endeavor, To My Friends: With Love...Sincerely, Prince Toddy English, to a close on June 1, 2012. 

This decision was a difficult one to make; but after taking all of the intangibles into account, in addition to my feelings, I just know that it is the right time. To My Friends: With Love...Sincerely, Prince Toddy English has run it's course and I'm ready to move onto something new. 

When I started "To My Friends: With Love...Sincerely, Prince Toddy English" it was a therapeutic endeavor. My life, at the time, back in 2008 was a bloody mess. I was 21-years-old, going on 22, and it felt like my whole world was unraveling at the seams. I had virtually no one to turn to and I needed an outlet. This was it. This was a place for healing, no more no less.

I entitled the blog "To My Friends: With Love...Sincerely, Toddy English" because anyone who was willing to sit and read my melodrama had to be a "friend" (lol) (that and it was a bit of an homage to my studies in English literature). With that said this blog was all about self expression and discovery. Over the past three years all of you--my readers--have seen my: ups, downs, joys, pain, and everything else in between. You saw me deal with a tumultuous coming out experience; Coming to grips with my loss of faith (and subsequently becoming affirmed and strong in my Atheism); going through my mother's Alzheimer's diagnosis (and accepting that she is not going to be here forever); dealing with a horrible job in retail sales; coping with the humiliation of being written about--in lude terms--on some @$$hole's blog (and dealing with the fall out of that whole thing); the asinine politics of blogging and social networking (I've met a lot of bitchy and conniving queens doing this, for certain); and finally having something wonderful happen (my new career). 

(Note: For the record my whole life has not been a Shakespearean drama. I just spilled about the bad parts that were bothering me at the time...lol)

I let you all in and I'm so glad that I did.

Your advice helped me.

Your readership motivated me.  

Truth be told...

This blog saved me in so many ways.   

This blog helped me grow up.

I would not be who I am right now had I not done it. 

With that said...

As I began to get away from my problems I kept looking for ways to motivate myself to keep it going. Suddenly, my blog turned from therapy into a contest to try and attain as much readership and popularity as possible. I got bogged down in trying to keep it relevant and timely. It got to be a really daunting task.

Yet, that was never the real intention of it. I actually lost my focus and forgot the initial purpose of it.

To My Friends With Love existed to get me to the point where I am in my life...

Self actualization.  

Everyday I feel more and more self possessed. Each day I feel more and more aware of my purpose and what I need to do with my life to be fulfilled. 

I am no longer the insecure little boy who thought that if he found the right boyfriend then life would be peachy keen.

I'm no longer the guileless innocent whose scope of the world was insular and tiny. 

I'm a grown man now. 

I know who I am.

I know what I want.

And now I am ready to go out there and get it. 

This was the purpose.

Granted, in life, there is always growth and change. And there will be more changes that I will inevitably go through as I get older. But, for now, the battle is over. I've won.

Now it is time for Christopher Robin (me) to put away his Pooh Bear (This blog).

Another reason I've decide to give up the ghost is because I'm beginning a new blog. I had originally planned this blog back at the beginning of eleven. However, my friends got one more year of blogging outta me (lol). 

The blog that I want to do now will be in complete service to my writing. Lately, I've been writing short stories, poetry, and whatever else that comes into my mind. I am as serious as poverty in South Africa about pursuing my passion. So, I want to create a blog solely dedicated to getting my work out there and letting my audience see what I am capable of fully in terms of my creativity.

I want to complete my novel.

I want to create a great body of work.

I'm just really ready to get to it now!

For the record, as I've said in previous posts, I love the blogs that keep us up to date on the goings on in the world. 

But I'm not a journalist. And I don't want to talk about someone else's story. 

I just want to write.

I want to write all of the time. 

I am tired of worrying about getting hits; getting a huge readership; and being the most popular blogger there is.

Again, I just want to write; and if I can amass an audience that enjoys reading my work then I will be happy.

The one thing that was just too hard for me to deal with, when writing this blog, was doing great postings and getting zero feedback on them. 

The blog I do--now that I realize (after three years)--is not for the instant coffee generation. They want quick so they can make a clever quip and flee the scene. 

So my next one entitled, "Asteroid: B-612" (I will reveal the purpose of the title later) will be strictly tailored to networking with other writers and posting my short stories, poetry, and ideas. Granted, I will post the occasional message about my everyday life or a movie I've seen (or even a little commentary on a major issue); however, it will be in service to my craft and not solely for the delight of thousands of onlookers (although if that happened I'd be pleased too).

I really want to create a community of writers that I can grow and learn from. I want to build a vicious circle that will rival Dorothy Parker's!

I want to get published.

I want to do great work that people will remember. I want to inspire some kid 100 years from now the way Langstan Hughes inspired me to put pen to pad. 

The only thing that I don't want to do anymore is this blog. 

While this blog was a fun distraction it was a distraction nevertheless. Now, it is time to make this medium work for me. I've learned how valuable my time is and I want to commit to honing my craft.

Anyway, my friends, I had so much fun with this. However, all good things must eventually come to an end.

That is just the ebb and flow of life. I am just so proud of myself for maintaining this blog and knowing that it will be apart of my body of work forever.

So, once I get it up and running, please visit "Asteroid B-162" to read my writings. There will be short stories, articles, excerpts from my novel in progress, and just writing in general. Granted, it won't be as rapid and spontaneous as this one but it will be more in line with what I'm going to accomplish.

Be that as it may...

Thank ya'll so much for supporting me and showing me love.

Blogging is a wonderful vehicle to reach people.

Use your powers for good when you take on such a privilege!

Cheers...

With Love...

Sincerely,

Prince Toddy English.

Pariah (2012): Toddy's Movie Picks!

Dear Friends:

Last night, after The Avengers, I picked up a copy of Pariah from Target. I knew it would be good. 

I didn't know it would be this goddamn great!

Pariah is one of the best LGBT coming of age stories I've seen in awhile. Moreover, it brought tears to this viewer's eyes because--despite it being about lesbians--it aptly described

my journey as a young African American Gay man. 

Pariah is the story of Alike, a young closeted lesbian coming to terms with her sexual identity. For her parents, particularly her mother, Alike is a girly girl (as much as she can be anyway). In real life--and with her best friend, Laura--she's "one of the girls". Alike's life begins to change when she falls in love with another girl.

Anyway, I am ending the review here because I don't want to give away too many details; however,  the final scene in which Alike chooses her path resonated with me so MUCH.

I can't rave enough about Pariah.

And I must say that Adepero Oduye is an epiphany to watch on screen. I loved the way her character grew and transformed into a self possessed beautiful young woman by film's end. 
Hers is the story of the young black LGBT survivor.

These are the kinds of movies that make me feel honored to be a film fan. 
This is a must see for all LGBT people and the public at large.

I definitely give Pariah an A+.

With Love...

Sincerely,

Prince Toddy English.

The Avengers: Toddy's Movie Picks!

Dear Friends:

Okay, so me and my geeky best friend finally caught a showing of The Avengers. I'll just cut right to the quick and say that it was a jolly good show. We had a ripping good time. See, unlike 90% of the audience in attendance, we geeks know all of these characters through years of comic book collecting, cartoon adaptations, and online debates. We have true appreciation for the source material. We're not just there to see the, "really kewl special effects!" (no shade. Wait, I'm lying. That is serious shade. I am still pissed I didn't get to see it opening week due to tickets being sold out at every single showing. There should be a law against non fans going to see a movie opening week. Fanboys first and everyone else later) With that said, if you're an Avengers fanboy, (Well, technically I'm a Thor fanboy. Thor is God...literally) you won't be disappointed in the slightest. 

I'll give the bullet points about what I loved...

• Loki - By the lovely head of Hela I am in HEAT over Loki! Kenneth Brannigan's portrayal of this character is literally transformative. He plays him so well that I can't imagine him playing any other role, ever. Loki is the trickster and the master manipulator who is all about getting power and control. This is the villain who is so impossibly wicked and power mad that you have to fall in love with him! And I thought he was absolutely stunningly beautiful (I loved his height and regality and hair). We love Loki! I want to date him.
• Thor - Love him too! The fight between him and Hulk and him and Iron Man (that was so fake. Iron man could not go mano y mano with Thor. Hell no) I can't wait for a sequel to Thor. I hope it takes place entirely on Asgard! Thor is easily one of my favorite heroes ever (right up there with The X-Men, Wonder Woman, and Supes).
• Captain America - Chris Evans is just too SEXY! My favorite scene is when he's punching the punching bag and we get a great glimpse of his @$$ through those sweats. I know all of you were looking too!
• The Black Widow - I was iffy about the casting of Scarlett Johannsen as Natasha, but she's bad @$$. She holds her own with the boys and surpasses them!
• Hawkeye - I really could have cared less. They should replace Hawkeye with Spiderman in the next one...Or beast...Or Storm. Then again ixnay on Storm you can't have a Thundergod and Goddess on the same team.
• Iron Man - Robert Downey Junior is TOO sexy! I could not get over all this avenger sex appeal...Jeez! But anyway he was delightfully snarky and awesome, as usual.
• The Hulk - My only complaint is that I wasn't buying The Hulk working well as a team member. Seriously, he is a one beast wrecking crew. No way Shield could reign him in. But yeah he was pretty awesome though.
• I'd like to see Wolverine as an Avenger come to think about it!
• The Skrull invasion was AWESOME! But can we please get a different ground zero for the end of the world, please? If I see one more alien invasion of New York or Los Angeles I'm gonna fuckin lose it. How about have the aliens Invade Louisville, Kentucky or something?
• Next one is the infinity gauntlet! My choice for Adam Warlock is Alexander Skarsgaard! And I hope Pip and Gamorra represent too!  
• Now, you just KNOW there will be a Justice League movie from DC! My picks for the team are: Superman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Batman, The Green Lantern, and Martian Manhunter.

But yeah the movie was a really fun and completely mindless summer blockbuster. Honestly, It is not good enough to be doing these boffo numbers but it was fun nevertheless.

I give this one a B+

Cheers!

Prince Toddy English. 

Spiderman (The Reboot): New Trailer

Dear Friends: 

This is the trailer for the latest incarnation of Spider man. 

I really have no interest in seeing it but it looks pretty bitchin. 

Now that I think about it I have no desire to see it. 

Tell me how it is when you go. 

Although chances are if you think it's good I still won't see it.

Prince Toddy English. 

Why I am NOT Here for Steve Harvey.

Dear Friends:

For those of you not in the know, up until this weekend, the buppy (black yuppy) romantic comedy, "Think Like A Man" was number one at the box office for two weeks running (this week The Avengers takes it. I know because I could not get a ticket to see the damn movie. I'll wait for DVD), having unseated The Hunger Games. 

With that said this proves...

A.) Black folks will turn out in droves to see any damn thing nowadays. As long as it is marketed as a black film and has a judeo christian message attached to it then its bank.

B.)  Any jackass can contribute to the literary canon in spite of being an insipid moron...

Speaking of which...

Let me get right to the gist of my rant here.

First of all I will never support Think Like A Man (despite the fact that Gabrielle Union, Romany Malco, and Michael Ealy are in it). Yeah, I know it is hard out there for black actors to get work, true. But the movie is produced by Steve Harvey and I am NOT here for his big buck tooth ass (He looks exactly like Jim Carey in that green Mask). I don’t mean to be rude nor vulgar but "comedian" Steve Harvey is a fucking idiot and you may quote me on that one. 

Allow me to explain why I do not like this fool (and after I am done ranting please watch the video below, "Shit Steve Harvey Says")

Be that as it may...

So one night (about a year ago) I was watching Larry King Live (hosted by Joyless BeyWHORE…love her!) when they had this buffoon (Harvey) on pimping (whoops…"advertising") his new book (Again, the fact that Steve Harvey can become a New York Times best seller shows that the literary industry is in the toilet alongside the economy). Anyway, it eludes me how this particular conversation came about but Joyless BehWHORE asked Steve Harvey what he thought of Atheists…

Since yours truly is an Atheist (honestly, labels don't matter but I'm certainly not religious) I listened with great interest (tell me why I don’t know).

Harvey said, and I quote, “Atheists are idiots” and, “How do you have a moral barometer if you’re an atheist? How do you do anything without a belief in God?” 

Then Harvey whipped out the tried and true Christian zealot classic, “If we came from monkeys then why are monkeys still here?” Harvey went onto add that whenever someone tells him that he or she is an atheist he just walks away. According to him, after that, they have nothing to talk about. Forget that the atheist in question may have the cure for cancer or AIDS. Naw, he or she is unworthy to bask in the gleam of Harvey’s gigantic head (I wonder how many walnuts would fit inside that thing? My guess is 102 plus a Dalmatian) because they don’t believe in his God…

A few things first…

1.) Any woman that purchases and adheres to the tenets of Steve Harvey’s shittacular book deserves to become a spinster. This fool has been divorced twice and dresses like a pimp. Ladies, what can you POSSIBLY learn from him? Let me get really ethnic for a moment. Steve Harvey ain't nothin but another N*gg* with a hustle, feel me? Just like JL King jumped on the Down Low this n*gg* here is piggy backing off of the insecurities of black women (who are afraid they'll never marry and get a man). All he is about is his money, not your personal well being.

Again, take his advice (and many of you have) and you deserve the loser that comes into your life. Steve Harvey is not only a bigot but he also endorses rape culture (i.e. if a man wants you there is NOTHING you can do about it, NOTHING). Yet, given his audience, most probably think having to file a restraining order means that  they found the man that really loves them. ::insert finger and vomit here::

2.) Morality evolved for the good of the tribe…not because a God decreed it was good, Steve. If a tribe member is going around raping and killing then NATURALLY that is detrimental to the group as a whole. Therefore the offender is prosecuted. Even ANTS remove their dysfunctional members from the hive (or whatever you call an ant bed) Duh? There was morality long before they wrote the bible…you stupid idiot.

3.) Maybe the universe didn’t just happen. However, it is equally possible that it did, STEVE. Try using your big Kool Aid jug head for more than just a hat rack son. Stop believing in magic and open up a book and see the science behind it.

4.) Atheists don’t believe that human beings evolved from Monkeys. Human beings and Chimpanzees (an entirely different species altogether, idiot) share a common ancestor. Maybe if you would actually read a book (well other than the bible) you MIGHT learn something. I’m certain Jesus didn’t put Lucy’s fossils in the ground to shake your faith boo…

Another thing...

People like this reinforce illiteracy in the black community. To this day my own mother will not read ANYTHING that is not the bible. And to this day, as much as I love her, she is not the most well rounded person I've ever met. This is a huge problem in the African American community as a whole. We are much too insular and refuse to advance our thinking outside of religion.

5.) Thank you Steve Harvey for being ignorant enough to walk off when someone has an opinion that differs from yours. It will spare me the energy of having to contend with your ignorance and stupidity. I wish more brazenly ignorant religious zealots would just walk away and go worship in church instead of…y’know…violating the constitution (that whole separation of church and state thing).

Anyway…

Do people really have to wonder why fundamentalist Christians have such a bad rap? That kind of blatant ignorance and intolerance for people with differing views is absolutely repulsive. How can you foster a dialogue with a man as stupid as Steve Harvey? The sad fact is that he’s a celebrity with a RADIO SHOW. He has a platform.

That is the only drawback to freedom of speech and press. People like: Rush Limbaugh, DL Hughley, Dan Savage, AND Steve Harvey have a soapbox to stand on. I guess for every: Bill Maher, Paul Mooney, or George Carlin we have to contend with ten of them that are not funny NOR intelligent.

Even though I am an Atheist I like to keep an open mind about everything. Yeah, it is more than likely that there is no God (I am pretty certain of it); however, I refuse to completely shut the door and definitely say that, "Oh there is no God at all." That would be arrogant because I can't possibly know. I just base my belief on the evidence that we have (science and evolutionary theory).

In addition the mere idea that someone would believe they are a better person just because they believe in a higher being is repulsive. I would like to ask, again, what does it say about someone who needs the concept of divine reciprocity to cultivate a moral and ethical code? I am moral and ethical because I know it is good for my conscious and the betterment of human beings and animals. The religious do it for a get out of hell free card. I'd say that us heathens win this debate hands down.

Anyway...

Steve Harvey go sit your tired ass down somewhere and get back to espousing misogynist rhetoric against black women. That’s all you’re good for. That is all you will ever be good for.

And, another thing...

Yes, this will be controversial but I don't care. This kind of cultural ignorance is the reason why African Americans are becoming stagnant as a culture. The longer we hold onto and adhere to 3,000 year old FAERIE TALES the more we are going to miss out on important things like: The space age, The singularity, and various other technological and scientific breakthroughs that will advance our society. We are too busy sitting up in somebody's church instead of getting our children interested in math and science.

Sorry, but Jesus is about as real as Santa Claus and The Easter Bunny. Again, how about about being good for goodness sake as opposed to going to the club every Saturday, droppin it like its hot, fuckin like a ho on prom night (with somebody you don't even know) afterwards, and then going back to church the next Sunday morning and repenting only to do the same shit next weekend (with all 10,000 lil wayne tattoos drawn on your chest)...and then telling ME I am a sinner destined for Hell?

Bitch please. 

Rant over.

Sincerely,

Prince Toddy English

P.S.

Oh, FYI Steve Harvey, n*gg* its moral COMPASS not BAROMETER! You sound like Biff Tannen in Back To The Future. Moron!

Brandy is back: Featuring Chris Brown (this is cute)!

Dear Friends:

Speaking of Brandy...

I've never been a huge fan of hers (ya'll know who I'm about) but I've always liked her.

Anyway, I am with this single (featuring C Breezy). 

This is a banger right here. 

Get into it!

Cheers!

Prince Toddy English.

Leah Labelle: is gonna SEXIFY you!

Dear Friends:

American Idol has a penchant for getting it WRONG! And they totally got it wrong on season three!

Granted, the right girl (Fantasia) won the contest; however, America slept on the fly girl Leah Labelle (aka Leah Vladowski)! She was the girl who was a wild card pick and got voted off the first week.

Well, almost ten years later, she's back with a HOT new look, obviously mature vocals, and Pharrell Williams production! She was green back then but I knew she had the goods.

Chile, she's hot! 

I love her and this song!

Get into it!

Prince Toddy English.

Brandy and Monica: Latest Ebony cover!

Dear Friends:

Twelve years after "The Boy is mine" these two are looking fantastic. It's looking like Ms. Brandy is having the best comeback ever!

Prince Toddy English.

Whenever, Where ever, Whatever: Taking My Blog Back To The Basics

Dear Friends:

Although I am starting my movie collection blog soon "To My Friends: With Love...Sincerely, Prince Toddy English." is staying put.

This blog is going nowhere. 

However, one change will go into effect immediately.

From now on I am only going to post when I really have something to say. More importantly I am only going to post when I feel like it.

This is going back to being the Sade of blogs not the Rihanna. 

With that said...

I do a lot of soul searching, all of the time (I live in my head). 

By my heart and soul I am a writer. I see the world through a lens of verbose. However, I've learned that being a writer does not make one a journalist. Here is the distinction. Whereas Don Lemon brings the news I'm that op ed columnist who forms an opinion about a story Don Lemon wrote. I'm the one who sounds off about an issue and not give a wit about journalistic integrity. 

Granted, I love all those blogs that keep a bitch posted on the latest goings on but trying to keep up with the latest scoop, for me? Naw, can't do it and I give up the ghost on that!

It is tiresome, daunting, and sometimes I get overwhelmed.

Again, I'm the type of blogger who really loves to explore his feelings and extrapolate on any given topic: politics, love, religion, sex, and whatever. 

I can't just post and not say anything about the subject matter. 

The reason I tried that experiment for about a year was to get more readers, no lie. But I notice that people respond more to me when I write as opposed to just posting a news story (that you may see on all of the other blogs). 

In those posts I'm being 100% me...and I feel like my most authentic self when I do those writings. Moreover, if they aren't getting a thousand replies it does not effect me because I am proud of the work that I did on them.

So, from now on, whether it be once a week or twice a day I will only blog when my spirit moves me to do so. 

I'm taking my blog back old school (three years ago). I'm just going back to be straight up writing about anything and everything, whenever, where ever, whatever, like I used to. 

Discussing in depth issues that are important to me while honing my craft.

First and foremost this is my vehicle to help me make sense of the world around me.

One while I wanted to QUIT this blog cold turkey. It always felt like I was doing such great work and NOBODY was responding (for all those who always support, love ya). It started feeling like a chore. Now, it is something that I am enjoying again. It is back to its original purpose, I feel.

That and I realize a lot of people are reading, but they prefer the Prince Toddy English that really expresses himself. 

I do too. 

Therefore, with that said, enjoy everything I've written previously and just know that new content will arise 

(mostly over the weekends). Maybe not in rapid succession but please know that when I post you will love it.

One thing I've learned from my new job is how to organize my responsibilities. I know how to delegate what is most important now. I love what I do here. So I don't want to feel forced to do it. So if you don't see new content for days on end don't fret. I am living my life so that I can have something to report back to you (if I feel like it).

For me it all comes down to quality over quantity now.

I want to talk about everything important to me and not feel PRESSED while I'm doin it, feel me? 

Thank you all for your continued support over the last three years (when I was a baby blog over on Wordpress)!

Love ya!

Cheers!

FYI: My new blog will be for a purpose. I am creating it to catalog my DVD/Blu Ray collection that is explosively huge...lol

Prince Toddy English. 

 

Why I Love The Movies: My Passion for Cinema!

Dear Friends:

As I've been alluding to in the past I have decided to finally forge ahead and create a film and cinema blog!

I've always wanted to do it but time constraints, various projects, and a crazy work schedule (retail Hell) prevented  me from really delving into the idea. Be that as it may I've decided that not only will it be a blog but a VLOG (me on video). I never got around to video blogging because I never knew what in the hell I wanted to discuss.

Then I thought, "What do I love talking about and indulging in more than anything?"

Most normal people would say sex. 

I am not most people, however. 

I live and breathe the movies!

With that said--if you've been reading this blog for any length of time--you've seen me heading in that direction. I love keeping my readers up to date on the latest whether it be a : summer blockbuster, obscure documentary, comedic indie, or any other genre. That and I love blogging as a hobby. Moreover, this is great way for me to keep track of my ever expanding DVD/Blu Ray collection.

With that said...

Why do I love movies so much?

The answer is simple. For me they hold all of the answers to every single complication life has ever thrown my way. Whenever things get too hard I can pull out a DVD or plop down seven dollars (at the matinee) and for two to three hours escape everything. Moreover, in every movie, there is a moral to the story. It leaves me with something to take away, a lesson learned if you will. The movies are special to me and always be and I'd love to pay homage to that. I find it a privilege to be able to indulge myself in such an art form.

So, look for my new blog that I plan to launch at the end of May...

And look for my VLOG movie reviews.

I am still thinking of a working title.

It maybe "Chronicles of a Cinephile." or "Cinephilia.com" or something.    

I'm looking forward to it!

Cheers!

Prince Toddy English.

So Happy Together (A Short Story)

(Random: I wrote this short story a few days ago. I just wanted to feel like I completed something. I have this obnoxious habit of starting on a story and not completing it (lol). Anyway, I don't think this is publishable but it was something that came into my mind. Tell me what you think! Also, any similarities between people living or dead is purely coincidentally.) 

So Happy Together

By Prince Toddy English.  

November woke up earlier than usual that morning, around five o'clock a.m. to be precise. He hadn't been an early riser since he graduated college and quit his day job five years prior. However, his sleep had been restless and disturbed for the past three nights, and for good reason.

As he lay gazing into the ominous darkness of his king sized bed November could concentrate on nothing save for the gaggle of wayward thoughts run amok in his mind, in addition to the resonating snores of his slumbering: lover, partner, companion, and husband, Polo. 
Seven years ago there was nothing November loved to do more than watch the rise and fall of Polo's brawny chest as he slumbered. Occasionally, November delighted in pressing his ear against his husband's pectoral just to hear the rhythm of his heartbeat, strong and healthy like the thumping of an African war drum.  


Now, seven years later, as November lie beside Polo, near the budding of a new dawn, he could only think about how he was going to leave him—and the relationship—by noon today. He had already purchased an airline ticket back to Dallas, Texas—his hometown—scheduled to depart at 1:00 PM. His mother, prior to him relocating to San Jose, California seven years before, told him that if things did not work out he could always come back home. At the time November believed that he would never take her up on the offer; however, things had inevitably changed. They had changed so much that he decided it was best to recalibrate. At least he knew that his old bedroom was still completely intact. November's mom still treated him like he was twelve.
Right now that was a good thing because he needed a hug and a big bowl of her raisin oatmeal. Some familiarity was the order of the day at the moment.
 ________

He recalled vividly the day Polo Reynolds stole his heart and ran. It was a Thursday morning and November had been on the clock, in the young Mens department, of Percy's, a popular retail chain in his area. Although November loved fashion he detested the retail sales industry like a virulent case of viral pneumonia. Between the rotating hours; the numerous sales throughout the week; the obnoxious customers; black Friday; the long and tedious stretches of nothing; and the neurotic store management team and associates; it was everything for him to go on his lunch hour and never look back. However, seeing as he had bills and tuition to pay he needed this job, no matter how shitty it was. November was in his Junior year of college at Paul Quinn University studying to become a librarian.
Even though he had been a straight A student in High School he had absolutely no career path in mind; at least until his guidance counselor—Mr. Jamison—steered him in the right direction.
"I don't know what I want to do." he said matter of factly.
“What do you love to do most?” he asked.
“Read.” said November.
“Why not become a library technician? They get paid good money my brotha. And you can read as many books as you want anytime you want.”
November pondered on the idea. It really made sense when he thought about it. Bookworm that he was it was the obvious choice for a career path. That made the decision that much easier.  In addition November thought Mr. Jamison was finer than a bald man's thinning hair. Everyone did but November found any erroneous excuse to go to his office, from fictional family problems to purposefully allowing some of his grades to slip. Needless to say Mr. Jamison was one of the catalysts for his stellar academic career and ultimate career path. 
___________

After high school ended work and class and class and work became the order of the: day, night, evening, afternoon, breakfast, brunch, lunch, and after dinner. Of course all of that changed when he saw the impossibly tall, handsome, darker than bittersweet chocolate, young man with a smile so dazzling that he could have been the cover boy for a box of Colgate toothpaste. Every single thing about the guy was impossibly magnificent. And from the way he was posing in the mirror—grinning and winking at himself all the while—November could tell that he knew it too.  
He stood enthrall as the ebony hued man pulled off his shirt to try on another one of items he had just folded on the display table. Normally, he got quietly angry when customers wrecked his display table; however, this particular customer's body gave him a pass.
The man appeared to have been carved out of an onyx stone. That and November marveled at the thickness of his neck; width of his shoulders; broadness of his back; his strong hands; his sleek, perfectly shaped, bald head; and his backside that resembled two taut melons stuffed into a bag too small to encompass them both. And it was everything for him to move his eyes away from his crotch region. It appeared to be hiding an Amazonian snake struggling to get out of the jungle.  

“You little slut! I see you staring at that man!”
the voice was a whisper but loud enough for it to startle November from his trance.  
It was his co-worker and best friend, Tommy. The petite young black woman sidled up alongside November and pinched him on the arm.
“I was not staring at him.” he said, barely able to conceal a case of the embarrassment giggles.
 “Boo, yes you were. You looked frozen. If that man walked over here and ripped off all of your clothes you'd probably just lay there like some bitch in gone with the wind and let him ravish your body!” said Tommy.  
November laughed outright at that, as did Tommy.
 “Well, what are you waiting for? He might be on the all boy's team.” she said.
“With my luck he's probably happily married—to a woman—and has 2.5 kids. Story of my life.”
“Well let me go over there and steal him from his hypothetical wife and kids then!”
“Now, you are the nasty stank Church heaux!” said November. With that he proceeded in the direction of the pulchritudinous customer. 
"Hand a sista the collection plate then, hallelujah thank ya Jesus!" she replied. 
“I'll be right back.” He said as he eagerly bounded away with a bit too much pep in his step.
“Boy, don't comeback here walking like you been riding a horse.”  
Tommy could not resist a zinger.  
November smiled and flipped her the bird. 
_____________

“Hi welcome to Percy's! Can I assist you with finding anything today sir?” Normally, November offered a smile and hello to the steady stream of customers that came into Percy's on a daily basis. This time he prattled off the pre-programmed greeting with a bit too much enthusiasm. The shopper turned around and showed November his dazzling smile which was a mixture of all too pleasant surprise and delight.
 “Oh most definitely uhm...” The guy, who stood at least 6'6, leaned down to get a clearer glimpse of November's name tag. He pulled back and issued a puzzled glance, “How you get a name like November?” he asked whilst adjusting the mauve button down shirt he was trying on.
 “My Mama.” said November, as he tried his best not to smile too broadly. This man could have told jokes about maiming little children with a hacksaw and November would have thought it was cute, “She told me that I was actually due in the month of November; but my birthday is in December and there you have it.”
He had no clue why he was divulging information to a complete and perfect stranger.  
The guy laughed, “I'll bet your middle name is something religious like Joseph or Jesus or something.” 
November even thought the guy's voice was cute. He expected a resonant baritone but instead got a boyishly low tenor. It was adorable.  
November blushed, “You better not laugh at me when I tell you...” he said.
“See, I bet it's Jesus or something.” The guy continued buttoning up his shirt as he laughed, “You all little and light-skinned. Your mama probably hispanic or something! Yeah, it's probably Jesus. ”
November paused, “It's Noel actually. Yes, go ahead and laugh.”
“I knew it!” he chuckled, “That's cool though, Mr. November Noel.”
With that the man turned to see how he looked in the mauve shirt, “Tell me something man and don't lie...” he paused, “You don't think this shirt looks too gay on me do you?”
November rolled his eyes.
“Yep, he's straight...and a dumb ass. So much for that one.”
he thought.
Apparently the customer took wind of November's contempt for his comment, “Oh, no offense my dude.”
“None taken.” he lied, a little. Normally, he would hold a grudge but the guy was too gorgeous to stay mad at. “But yeah it totally looks good on you. Your skin color goes great with those kinds of hues.”
“I seriously didn't mean that whole gay thing to be offensive though...”
“I know. It's all good. I hear that stupid “That's so gay” mess all of the time in here.”
“Good, because I cannot under any circumstances have the cute little light skinned sales boy mad at me over some silliness.”
November's entire face lit up, “Oh so you family!” he proclaimed as though he had found a unicorn and the holy grail all under the same rainbow.
The guy smiled, “Shhh, don't tell nobody. I don't want to look too gay at the pride parade next week. I know how boys like you like a dude to be all tradish.”
“First of all I don't like trade. Second of all if you want to look like some trade I doubt your predilection for mauve and magenta shirts will help up your masculinity quotient.”
November started laughing and the guy feigned an expression of disingenuous annoyance.
“Oh, so you just gonna clock me all up in Percy's? Just put me all up on front street. You killin me November! You killin me!” He joked. “Alright, since I'm about to buy these shirts from you—thus helping you reach your sales quota—I think it's only fair that you have lunch with me tomorrow. Again, I'm about to spend over $400.00 dollars on some shirts. I figure you owe me at least a five dollar subway sandwich playa!”
November played coy, “Hold up, wait a minute, I don't even know you, first of all. Second of all you are the one asking to hang out with me. So, by default you gotta pay for the subs. Lastly, for all I know you could be some deranged serial murderer. I could leave for lunch with you and wind up a statistic on the first 48.”
“Well, get to know me then cutie. That way you can give all your little friends the tea on a brotha. I saw you and ole girl over there kee keeing and admiring the goods. That and all these shirts are gonna be at least $400.00 dollars. You owe me a casual lunch date!” He offered November his hand, which was roughly the size of a baseball mitt. November shook it, “I'm Polo Reynolds by the way.”
“And you think my name is crazy?”
And that was how it began...
Polo purchased $500.00 worth of shirts from November and a one hour lunch date turned into a first official date. That date lasted all day, all night, and extended into the next morning. Sleepovers, lust, and spontaneous sex sessions eventually gave way to public proclamations of love and the solidification of long term plans. Upon graduation November postponed his mission to complete a Master's degree in library science in favor of starting a new life with Polo in San Jose, California. Polo had recently been promoted to a very high level executive position with Apple computers and when he told November the news there was never even a question what his next move would be. He simply decided to restart his collegiate career at Berkeley. 
Life sans his Polo was not a life at all.
From there Polo used his charm to shinny up the corporate ladder and November fit smoothly into his new life as the loving, doting, and supporting husband/homemaker. In their spacious expensive suburban San Jose house November's plans to complete his degree took second place to the maintenance of his and Polo's home and Polo's career.
That was seven years ago.
_____________
November turned on the nightstand lamp light and sat up straight in the bed. With one hand he gently roused Polo from his sleep. The larger man snorted and drifted off again. November nudged him again.
“What's wrong baby? Why you up so early?” Polo had the entire week off work and delighted in sleeping well into the morning on most days.
“Polo, we need to talk.” said November. His tone was flat. It was intentionally so because he refused to let his present animosity cloud his judgment or make him say something he might regret.
“Oh, I know that voice...” Polo yawned, “Baby, can't this wait until a little bit later? Ya man is trying to get as much sleep in as possible--”
“Polo, I'm going to leave you...Today.” He couldn't believe he just blurted it out. But he was glad he did. 
There was no sense in dilly dallying around the hedges anymore.
Polo rolled over and looked at November like he had a tree growing out the side of his neck, “What? November what are you talking about?”
November shook his head and put his face in his palms. "I told him. The hardest part is over." he thought.
“I said that I'm leaving you Polo, today. I am so tired of everything. I am tired of you and I am tired of us. I'm sick and tired of everything.” He sighed.  
Polo was awake now. 
His handsome visage was a mask of confusion and abject horror. November had his undivided attention.
“You're serious?” he asked. At first Polo thought November was throwing yet another melodramatic hissy fit (as he was prone to do when he wasn't getting his way) but he could tell from the timbre of his voice this time there was something  different. It scared him, “Why are you acting like this? I swear to God November we are always going through some shit at least once a month lately. I thought we worked all our past problems out--”
“Three days ago Dr. Zhang put me on antibiotics for Syphillis...” said November. His voice was low and even as he looked Polo directly in the eye. Polo could actually feel the weight of his stare, so much so that he had to look away.
“Any clue where it could have possibly come from? Y'know what Polo?” he interrupted his own inquery, “I won't even ask who it was this time because I don't give a damn anymore. You giving me Syphilis was the straw that broke the camel's back so I could fucking careless about the previous 18,000 you piled on before it. You just proved, beyond all shadow of a doubt, that you don't give a fuck about me or this relationship; and I don't know why I ever thought it would ever be different.”
“How you gonna sit up there and say that November? Everything I have and work for I give it to you! So, how you gonna lie and say that I don't give a fuck about you? I love you--”
“What part of “You gave me Syphilis” do you not understand Polo?! So don't you dare patronize me with that "I love you" bullshit. Those words are just hollow coming from your tired ass.”
Silence enveloped the room before November broke it up once again.  
“And you know what? I've come to the realization that this entire relationship was nothing but a huge convenience for you. But I am the fool for allowing you to have your fucking cake and eat it too--”
“Oh, so you are still on that whole jealously over the fact that I wanted us to be polyamorous bullshit? November, you are just as complicit in that as me! I let you know the deal up front, at the beginning, that I wasn't going to be 100% monogamous. You knew the deal coming into the situation!”
“The fuck I did!” November spat, “Before you ever told me you wanted an “open relationship” your were playing me like a fucking Xbox, Polo! Shit, I always knew you were doing me wrong. I always did..." 
November sucked on his teeth to hold back his animosity. It was to no avail... 
"Those bitches you fuck with are always laughing at me behind my back and throwing shade in my face. I can't even pretend to have an iota of dignity anymore! I was just stupid  enough to love you so goddamn much. Yeah, I completely admit to co-signing on the arrangement just so I could be with you. I never wanted that shit! It was you who wanted it so naturally I was with it. All I ever demanded was for you to be straight with me and you could not even do that right! I have been fucking miserable for the last year or so and it amazes me how fucking oblivious you always are to my pain. Stuck in this goddamn house while you were out doing who, whoever, and whatever.” He grumbled. 
November crossed his arms and turned his back on in a show of defiance. 
“Oh, so you think I'm professor X or somebody? Was I supposed to read your mind? All this time you've been holding all of this hostility in and you never thought to say anything to me about it? You been pissed off and I'm supposed to know that how?! I thought we went over all of this and got it straight in marriage counseling? November, anytime I ask you how you're feeling you just smile and say that you're fine or that everything is okay! You want me to be straight with you but apparently you won't offer me the same fucking respect!”
Polo kicked off the linens and placed his face between his knees. He let out a long slow sigh, “Yes, I told you that I wanted to open up the relationship. I've never been good at maintaining a monogamous relationship, you knew that. I told you that shit! I needed to have other lovers and I should have been upfront with you about that but—the fact of the matter is I don't love any of them the way that I love you baby. Yeah, they give me certain qualities that you can't or won't but you are the one I want to grow old with. You are the one I want to share my whole world with--”
“And your STD's apparently...” November mused.
“Stop saying that shit!” said Polo, “Let's not forget that, two years ago, you fucked Rick, my best fucking friend!”
“And you fucked every single body in entire San Francisco Bay Area, Polo!” November's breathes came fast and furious. He was so angry that he wanted to take the crystal vase on his nightstand and chuck it at Polo's head. 
Instead he practiced breathing techniques, “Yeah, I had sex with Rick. But The only reason I did it was because you were never there Polo! You were either too busy climbing the corporate ladder or playing hide the salami with any one of your pieces in and around the Castro—” he paused and fought back tears, “And I knew you never forgave me for what happened with Rick. You always hold that over my head for everything, which is why I never said anything about what you do and who you do it with. I beat myself up enough for the both of us! Now, I think you giving me Syphilis is just some unconscious passive aggressive way for you to get revenge on me for that...”
Polo stood up and started pacing the room, “Why do you always do that November? See, you are always psychoanalyzing and cross examining me, like you are an expert on the subject of me. You always try and make me feel like a fucking moron, always!”
Finally, Polo stood in the far right corner of the room and faced November, “For what it's worth I forgave you for Rick a longtime ago. It was hard as hell but the time we spent away from each other helped. I knew Rick had a thing for you from day one but what mattered most is that we got it back together baby. Don't you understand that? I thought you were happy. I wanted you to be happy with me and with us. You take all of this pride in our home; the neighbors love you; and you been riding with me through everything. What about those summers in Zurich and Spain? We were together and it seemed like nothing else mattered. Now, just like that, out the fucking blue, you wake me up and tell me that you are gonna tear my heart out? This is some bullshit!”
November shook his head, “I can't believe you. How can you be so conceited and self absorbed? Even now it is all about you! If you had paid attention to me, any attention at all, you would have known I haven't been happy for a very long time! Hell, how could you know? You are never home! You are either with that Bitch in Oakland or one of your sluts down in the Castro. And if you aren't with them you're at work. And if you aren't at work then you are at a bathhouse and no telling what those dirty fucks have. You better be LUCKY you gave me something curable...Then, on top of that, you come home only to eat dinner and go to sleep. 
I remember a long time ago when the best part of my day was you calling home just to tell me that you loved me and us having marathon conversations from your office. Now, I'm fortunate if I even get a fucking text from you!  
Do you remember the time you took me to that scandalous party in the city with those two twins, Marcos and Jamal? Do you remember how sad I was the entire night? You spent more time with them than me and you completely fucking bailed. I was out of my element and you acted like you didn't give a shit! However, I stayed quiet and saved my tears for the bathroom stall because I knew that event was so important to you. As a matter of fact Polo my whole life with you has been nothing but a fucking sacrifice. I was perfectly fine back in Dallas seven years ago but instead I gave up my plans and followed you here. I didn't go back for my Masters because you said I didn't have to work at all. I cleaned this house from top to bottom, decorated, made breakfast, lunch, and dinner for you and ingratiated myself to all of your friends and family...And what the fuck did you give me? 
You gave me a venereal fucking disease! 
You know what? 
At some point I thought I would eventually be enough for you. I thought you would eventually get out of this insatiable need to fuck everything that moves and just be with me. I had plenty of opportunities to step out on you but I never did. You know why? Because I did not want to share myself with anyone else but you. Why did you even get into a relationship if you wanted to keep fucking around Polo? I don't get it...”
“Because I love you--”
“You don't know shit about real love, little boy.” November replied angrily, "Not a goddamn thing at all."
“Fuck you November!”
“Fuck me? No fuck you! I took and have taken so much shit off of you Polo and it was because I loved you! That's love!”  
The tears fell from November's eyes unbidden.
“Do you still love me?” Polo's bottom lip began to tremble. He almost wanted to buckle. He knew he had fucked up and his greatest fear was finally actualizing itself. 
Polo was losing November. Now, he was grasping at any straw he could find.
November looked at him for a moment and nodded his head. Then he looked down and whispered, “No.”
“I don't believe you. Look me in the eye and tell me that November!” Polo walked over to November's side of the bed, sat down, and looked into his bright brown eyes, “Tell me you don't love me anymore. Do it, look me straight in the eye and repeat that shit!”
That moment of silence seemed to last an eon.
“I don't love you anymore Polo.” He said it without wavering. Where once he gazed into Polo's eyes with love and reverence now there was nothing. “There is nothing left inside me for you. The moment the doctor diagnosed me everything I felt for you in terms of love left.”
Polo tried to stop himself from breaking. He felt like he was caving from the outside in. November's voice seemed so far away. Polo could not hear it over the sound of his heart shattering into a pile of emotional debris. 
He'd been through break ups before but none of them hurt this bad. 
“What about Janelle?” Polo mused, “She's seven months in. You already decorated the baby's room. We already know his name. What does this mean?”
“We have two months to think about it...Otherwise, I don't know.” said November. His voice trailed off as he peered through the picture window of their master suite. 
The early morning sun was peeking over the horizon.
It was time to go.
He had to go.
“My plane is leaving at noon today. I will catch a taxi to the airport.”
Polo broke into tears, something uncharacteristic of him.
“Are you coming back?” he sobbed.
“It's one way...I still haven't decided yet.”
Polo managed a smile, “I guess it won't help if I got down on my knees and started begging you like Keith Sweat?” Polo always tried to infuse a situation with levity whenever he and November were on the outs. But the comedian was met by a silent audience this time.
“I'm going to go make your breakfast before I get ready to leave.”
“What do I tell everybody about this?”
“If they ask just tell them the truth...” November mused, “or at least a sanitized version of it.”
_____________ 

November cooked Polo his usual breakfast whilst simultaneously preparing his luggage for the flight to Dallas. As always the kitchen flat screen was on ESPN (Polo's favorite station); and Polo's laptop was on the kitchen counter raring to go. A little bit later Polo got dressed in the shirt and casual pants that November had lain out for him, freshly ironed and starched (the way he liked them). The kitchen and the rest of the house were flawlessly immaculate.
Everything was as usual.
Except this was not a usual day.
November got dressed and packed two large rolling bags. He honestly had no real clue about what he was going to do, or how long he was going to stay, in Dallas. All he knew was that he needed to be away from Polo, for awhile.
The yellow cab pulled into their spacious driveway.
The driver was half an hour early...
“Perfect.” November thought.
He turned and looked around at Polo who was bringing up the rear, “Okay...” he paused, “Be good Polo. I'll call you when I get there.”
“Hold on...” said Polo as he clutched the door handle for November. He was still in a state of shock. His hands were trembling ever so slightly as he unlatched the beautiful glass french doors. This was the third time he and his beloved had separated and for some reason it felt like the last. The hardest part was that he did not want it to be. As they walked out the door together Polo gazed at the flower garden that they had so meticulously planned, arranged, and cultivated together.
November loved flowers and the boy had a green thumb. Polo remembered the times they had been daring enough to actually make love in the flower garden. In that moment he realized just how much he loved having sweet November in his life. As November walked to the taxi Polo followed him...
“Hey...” he said.
“What?” November turned around.
“Tell your mom I said hi...” he paused, “and that I'm sorry for what I did.” November stood still.
He looked at the ground and looked up at his husband.
He thought he was going to say something profound.
But all he could muster was...
“Bye Polo.”
With that said November put his luggage into the cab and got in the backseat.
______________
  
Meanwhile, Mrs. Slack, their neighbor from across the street, waved delightedly at the two young men coming out of the beautiful house in the center of the culdesac. She—and most of the neighbors—absolutely adored Mr. and Mr. Reynolds. November Reynolds was always a staple at the civic club meetings and had been praised in the local newspapers for having the prettiest lawn and house on the street. As she watered her grass she could not help but admire the couple. They were both so handsome, polite, and sweet. Plus they threw the most wonderful dinner parties. Having grown up in the mid south she had been fed so many erroneous stereotypes about Gay men and lesbians it was ridiculous. However, The Reynolds' dispelled all of them. Truth be told they got on better than all of the heterosexual couples in the small community. They were both so kind, doting, and loving to one another. She envied it in a way being that she was twice divorced and finally settled on re-appropriating her maiden name.
“I honestly don't see why people have such a problem with gay marriage” she thought.
“Those two are possibly the most well adjusted couple I've ever met in my life. I wish I could have the same. They always look so absolutely happy together.”
Mrs. Slack waved at November as his taxi left for the airport.
Polo waved just before he shut the door behind him.
Mrs. Slack smiled and blissfully watered her lawn.
The End.