Why I am NOT Here for Steve Harvey.

Dear Friends:

For those of you not in the know, up until this weekend, the buppy (black yuppy) romantic comedy, "Think Like A Man" was number one at the box office for two weeks running (this week The Avengers takes it. I know because I could not get a ticket to see the damn movie. I'll wait for DVD), having unseated The Hunger Games. 

With that said this proves...

A.) Black folks will turn out in droves to see any damn thing nowadays. As long as it is marketed as a black film and has a judeo christian message attached to it then its bank.

B.)  Any jackass can contribute to the literary canon in spite of being an insipid moron...

Speaking of which...

Let me get right to the gist of my rant here.

First of all I will never support Think Like A Man (despite the fact that Gabrielle Union, Romany Malco, and Michael Ealy are in it). Yeah, I know it is hard out there for black actors to get work, true. But the movie is produced by Steve Harvey and I am NOT here for his big buck tooth ass (He looks exactly like Jim Carey in that green Mask). I don’t mean to be rude nor vulgar but "comedian" Steve Harvey is a fucking idiot and you may quote me on that one. 

Allow me to explain why I do not like this fool (and after I am done ranting please watch the video below, "Shit Steve Harvey Says")

Be that as it may...

So one night (about a year ago) I was watching Larry King Live (hosted by Joyless BeyWHORE…love her!) when they had this buffoon (Harvey) on pimping (whoops…"advertising") his new book (Again, the fact that Steve Harvey can become a New York Times best seller shows that the literary industry is in the toilet alongside the economy). Anyway, it eludes me how this particular conversation came about but Joyless BehWHORE asked Steve Harvey what he thought of Atheists…

Since yours truly is an Atheist (honestly, labels don't matter but I'm certainly not religious) I listened with great interest (tell me why I don’t know).

Harvey said, and I quote, “Atheists are idiots” and, “How do you have a moral barometer if you’re an atheist? How do you do anything without a belief in God?” 

Then Harvey whipped out the tried and true Christian zealot classic, “If we came from monkeys then why are monkeys still here?” Harvey went onto add that whenever someone tells him that he or she is an atheist he just walks away. According to him, after that, they have nothing to talk about. Forget that the atheist in question may have the cure for cancer or AIDS. Naw, he or she is unworthy to bask in the gleam of Harvey’s gigantic head (I wonder how many walnuts would fit inside that thing? My guess is 102 plus a Dalmatian) because they don’t believe in his God…

A few things first…

1.) Any woman that purchases and adheres to the tenets of Steve Harvey’s shittacular book deserves to become a spinster. This fool has been divorced twice and dresses like a pimp. Ladies, what can you POSSIBLY learn from him? Let me get really ethnic for a moment. Steve Harvey ain't nothin but another N*gg* with a hustle, feel me? Just like JL King jumped on the Down Low this n*gg* here is piggy backing off of the insecurities of black women (who are afraid they'll never marry and get a man). All he is about is his money, not your personal well being.

Again, take his advice (and many of you have) and you deserve the loser that comes into your life. Steve Harvey is not only a bigot but he also endorses rape culture (i.e. if a man wants you there is NOTHING you can do about it, NOTHING). Yet, given his audience, most probably think having to file a restraining order means that  they found the man that really loves them. ::insert finger and vomit here::

2.) Morality evolved for the good of the tribe…not because a God decreed it was good, Steve. If a tribe member is going around raping and killing then NATURALLY that is detrimental to the group as a whole. Therefore the offender is prosecuted. Even ANTS remove their dysfunctional members from the hive (or whatever you call an ant bed) Duh? There was morality long before they wrote the bible…you stupid idiot.

3.) Maybe the universe didn’t just happen. However, it is equally possible that it did, STEVE. Try using your big Kool Aid jug head for more than just a hat rack son. Stop believing in magic and open up a book and see the science behind it.

4.) Atheists don’t believe that human beings evolved from Monkeys. Human beings and Chimpanzees (an entirely different species altogether, idiot) share a common ancestor. Maybe if you would actually read a book (well other than the bible) you MIGHT learn something. I’m certain Jesus didn’t put Lucy’s fossils in the ground to shake your faith boo…

Another thing...

People like this reinforce illiteracy in the black community. To this day my own mother will not read ANYTHING that is not the bible. And to this day, as much as I love her, she is not the most well rounded person I've ever met. This is a huge problem in the African American community as a whole. We are much too insular and refuse to advance our thinking outside of religion.

5.) Thank you Steve Harvey for being ignorant enough to walk off when someone has an opinion that differs from yours. It will spare me the energy of having to contend with your ignorance and stupidity. I wish more brazenly ignorant religious zealots would just walk away and go worship in church instead of…y’know…violating the constitution (that whole separation of church and state thing).

Anyway…

Do people really have to wonder why fundamentalist Christians have such a bad rap? That kind of blatant ignorance and intolerance for people with differing views is absolutely repulsive. How can you foster a dialogue with a man as stupid as Steve Harvey? The sad fact is that he’s a celebrity with a RADIO SHOW. He has a platform.

That is the only drawback to freedom of speech and press. People like: Rush Limbaugh, DL Hughley, Dan Savage, AND Steve Harvey have a soapbox to stand on. I guess for every: Bill Maher, Paul Mooney, or George Carlin we have to contend with ten of them that are not funny NOR intelligent.

Even though I am an Atheist I like to keep an open mind about everything. Yeah, it is more than likely that there is no God (I am pretty certain of it); however, I refuse to completely shut the door and definitely say that, "Oh there is no God at all." That would be arrogant because I can't possibly know. I just base my belief on the evidence that we have (science and evolutionary theory).

In addition the mere idea that someone would believe they are a better person just because they believe in a higher being is repulsive. I would like to ask, again, what does it say about someone who needs the concept of divine reciprocity to cultivate a moral and ethical code? I am moral and ethical because I know it is good for my conscious and the betterment of human beings and animals. The religious do it for a get out of hell free card. I'd say that us heathens win this debate hands down.

Anyway...

Steve Harvey go sit your tired ass down somewhere and get back to espousing misogynist rhetoric against black women. That’s all you’re good for. That is all you will ever be good for.

And, another thing...

Yes, this will be controversial but I don't care. This kind of cultural ignorance is the reason why African Americans are becoming stagnant as a culture. The longer we hold onto and adhere to 3,000 year old FAERIE TALES the more we are going to miss out on important things like: The space age, The singularity, and various other technological and scientific breakthroughs that will advance our society. We are too busy sitting up in somebody's church instead of getting our children interested in math and science.

Sorry, but Jesus is about as real as Santa Claus and The Easter Bunny. Again, how about about being good for goodness sake as opposed to going to the club every Saturday, droppin it like its hot, fuckin like a ho on prom night (with somebody you don't even know) afterwards, and then going back to church the next Sunday morning and repenting only to do the same shit next weekend (with all 10,000 lil wayne tattoos drawn on your chest)...and then telling ME I am a sinner destined for Hell?

Bitch please. 

Rant over.

Sincerely,

Prince Toddy English

P.S.

Oh, FYI Steve Harvey, n*gg* its moral COMPASS not BAROMETER! You sound like Biff Tannen in Back To The Future. Moron!