“It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.” Anonymous quotation.
Dear Friends:
I know I've made this announcement twice before; however, this time--the third time--will most definitely be the charm.
Friends...
Yours truly has decided to bring this delightful endeavor, To My Friends: With Love...Sincerely, Prince Toddy English, to a close on June 1, 2012.
This decision was a difficult one to make; but after taking all of the intangibles into account, in addition to my feelings, I just know that it is the right time. To My Friends: With Love...Sincerely, Prince Toddy English has run it's course and I'm ready to move onto something new.
When I started "To My Friends: With Love...Sincerely, Prince Toddy English" it was a therapeutic endeavor. My life, at the time, back in 2008 was a bloody mess. I was 21-years-old, going on 22, and it felt like my whole world was unraveling at the seams. I had virtually no one to turn to and I needed an outlet. This was it. This was a place for healing, no more no less.
I entitled the blog "To My Friends: With Love...Sincerely, Toddy English" because anyone who was willing to sit and read my melodrama had to be a "friend" (lol) (that and it was a bit of an homage to my studies in English literature). With that said this blog was all about self expression and discovery. Over the past three years all of you--my readers--have seen my: ups, downs, joys, pain, and everything else in between. You saw me deal with a tumultuous coming out experience; Coming to grips with my loss of faith (and subsequently becoming affirmed and strong in my Atheism); going through my mother's Alzheimer's diagnosis (and accepting that she is not going to be here forever); dealing with a horrible job in retail sales; coping with the humiliation of being written about--in lude terms--on some @$$hole's blog (and dealing with the fall out of that whole thing); the asinine politics of blogging and social networking (I've met a lot of bitchy and conniving queens doing this, for certain); and finally having something wonderful happen (my new career).
(Note: For the record my whole life has not been a Shakespearean drama. I just spilled about the bad parts that were bothering me at the time...lol)
I let you all in and I'm so glad that I did.
Your advice helped me.
Your readership motivated me.
Truth be told...
This blog saved me in so many ways.
This blog helped me grow up.
I would not be who I am right now had I not done it.
With that said...
As I began to get away from my problems I kept looking for ways to motivate myself to keep it going. Suddenly, my blog turned from therapy into a contest to try and attain as much readership and popularity as possible. I got bogged down in trying to keep it relevant and timely. It got to be a really daunting task.
Yet, that was never the real intention of it. I actually lost my focus and forgot the initial purpose of it.
To My Friends With Love existed to get me to the point where I am in my life...
Self actualization.
Everyday I feel more and more self possessed. Each day I feel more and more aware of my purpose and what I need to do with my life to be fulfilled.
I am no longer the insecure little boy who thought that if he found the right boyfriend then life would be peachy keen.
I'm no longer the guileless innocent whose scope of the world was insular and tiny.
I'm a grown man now.
I know who I am.
I know what I want.
And now I am ready to go out there and get it.
This was the purpose.
Granted, in life, there is always growth and change. And there will be more changes that I will inevitably go through as I get older. But, for now, the battle is over. I've won.
Now it is time for Christopher Robin (me) to put away his Pooh Bear (This blog).
Another reason I've decide to give up the ghost is because I'm beginning a new blog. I had originally planned this blog back at the beginning of eleven. However, my friends got one more year of blogging outta me (lol).
The blog that I want to do now will be in complete service to my writing. Lately, I've been writing short stories, poetry, and whatever else that comes into my mind. I am as serious as poverty in South Africa about pursuing my passion. So, I want to create a blog solely dedicated to getting my work out there and letting my audience see what I am capable of fully in terms of my creativity.
I want to complete my novel.
I want to create a great body of work.
I'm just really ready to get to it now!
For the record, as I've said in previous posts, I love the blogs that keep us up to date on the goings on in the world.
But I'm not a journalist. And I don't want to talk about someone else's story.
I just want to write.
I want to write all of the time.
I am tired of worrying about getting hits; getting a huge readership; and being the most popular blogger there is.
Again, I just want to write; and if I can amass an audience that enjoys reading my work then I will be happy.
The one thing that was just too hard for me to deal with, when writing this blog, was doing great postings and getting zero feedback on them.
The blog I do--now that I realize (after three years)--is not for the instant coffee generation. They want quick so they can make a clever quip and flee the scene.
So my next one entitled, "Asteroid: B-612" (I will reveal the purpose of the title later) will be strictly tailored to networking with other writers and posting my short stories, poetry, and ideas. Granted, I will post the occasional message about my everyday life or a movie I've seen (or even a little commentary on a major issue); however, it will be in service to my craft and not solely for the delight of thousands of onlookers (although if that happened I'd be pleased too).
I really want to create a community of writers that I can grow and learn from. I want to build a vicious circle that will rival Dorothy Parker's!
I want to get published.
I want to do great work that people will remember. I want to inspire some kid 100 years from now the way Langstan Hughes inspired me to put pen to pad.
The only thing that I don't want to do anymore is this blog.
While this blog was a fun distraction it was a distraction nevertheless. Now, it is time to make this medium work for me. I've learned how valuable my time is and I want to commit to honing my craft.
Anyway, my friends, I had so much fun with this. However, all good things must eventually come to an end.
That is just the ebb and flow of life. I am just so proud of myself for maintaining this blog and knowing that it will be apart of my body of work forever.
So, once I get it up and running, please visit "Asteroid B-162" to read my writings. There will be short stories, articles, excerpts from my novel in progress, and just writing in general. Granted, it won't be as rapid and spontaneous as this one but it will be more in line with what I'm going to accomplish.
Be that as it may...
Thank ya'll so much for supporting me and showing me love.
Blogging is a wonderful vehicle to reach people.
Use your powers for good when you take on such a privilege!
Cheers...
With Love...
Sincerely,
Prince Toddy English.
4 comments:
It's so sad to see you go. But good luck and positive energy with everything that you do and touch.
*Speaks in Janet Jackson voice* "That's the end?" I'll definitely miss coming here and reading your posts (and I'm still a little peeved you never chose Ursula for a bitch of the day post--but no one's perfect:). But I look forward to reading your short fiction/poetry blog.
A word of advice though--don't post anything on your blog you want published in a literary mag; they count that as self-publishing. Good luck!
you will be missed. you have been a great part of my blogging experience
Wow...I only found this blog about a year ago and I check it everyday as a rule just to see if there is anything new. I really enjoy reading your stuff even though I may not always agree with your point of view...damn i should've written some more in the comments section huh...guess its not too late to show appreciation. I wished I had the words but I hope you know your admired all the way from Trinidad..looking forward to your future works. Hey would you mind doing a post of some of your favorite blogs?...gay or straight. Seems like all the ones I read are going on an indefinite hiatus. Probably time to start my own.
Much respect n love.
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